Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Get Out of My MySpace!

My sister and I are no longer friends.

She still calls me
whenever she needs something. And I call her to say "Hi." We always end
the conversations with a nice "I love you." And I'm certain she
wouldn't cross to the other side of the street if she saw me heading
her way.

But on MySpace, I'm dead to her.

I've never
had someone remove me as a MySpace friend, and it's fairly humiliating
that my first such blow should come from a flesh-and-blood relative. As
far as anyone peeking at my page is concerned, someone named *mofo* and I
are closer than me and Sis. I don't know *mofo*. I've never met *mofo*, and
if I did, she and I would have no idea that we're "friends." (But
thanks to MySpace's handy features, I do know that *mofo* turned 30 on
Monday. Happy birthday, *mofo*!).

Even before my sister exiled
me, I had been feeling like a little bit of a MySpace loser. I have
asked my favorite artist, Ani DiFranco, to be my friend 15 times (one
for each time I have seen her in concert). I still haven't gotten a

And comedian Dane Cook – the guy who pretty much
launched his career from the pages of MySpace and has, according to his
page, 1,533,755 friends – won't have anything to do with me.
Apparently, even if you have 1.5 million friends, you have to draw the
line somewhere.

Sure I have twice as many friends as Hubby.
And, yeah, I have forged an actual friendship – 27-year-old Nikki from
Milwaukee is a living embodiment of positive energy. But getting
ignored by Dane Cook and kicked to the curb by my sister pretty much
makes me the biggest loser on MySpace.

I have to admit that in the case of Sis, I did have it coming. See, I hate my sister's boyfriend.

I brought future Hubby home to meet my family, my then-9-year-old
sister shoved him and screamed, "Get away from my sister! You're going
to marry her and move to New York and I'm never going to see her again!"

a lot older than 9, but you might not know that by the aggressive
messages about Idiot that I posted on Sis' MySpace page. I called Idiot
a "creep," a "jerk" and a "loser." And I did it so he could see that I
did it. But that's not where I went wrong. The mistake I made was that
I should have just called him by his name: Idiot. 

The word
"idiot" has such a lovely, vaguely francophone arrangement of vowels. By
the time he sounded out the word, he would have been so intellectually
exhausted that he'd need a nap. By choosing simpler words, I left
myself open for a counteroffensive, an opening he took – however

The "war," as Sis describes it, proved too much
for her, and with a few angry clicks she removed me and Hubby from her
site (and her sight). She says she also removed Idiot, but I'll never
know because she blocked her profile so that non-friends can't see her
pictures of Israel or the photos of my son that she regularly posts to
her page. 

"MySpace is supposed to be fun. I just want to see my friends on it, I don't need this stress," she said.

she's right about that. I apologized to her for being childish – but
not for hating Idiot. Idiot's a creep and I hope even Tom drops him.
But I am sorry that I turned her page into a family feud. 

Sis accepted my apology. But not my friendship request.


  1. Mayrav,
    You are so funny. *Mofo* is my best friend, Dena Norman. I told her about you because we both love to write and she loves to read, more than I do I mean. I told her she had to read your column because you are so amazing.
    I think that I talked to you about this a bit already. I have never been eliminated from a list, yet. I stress yet, I could be on the way out soon since myspace is like my home and I post bulletins every other minute. "Help me promote my indie movie friends," can get old after the billionth time it's posted. I just want people to see the things I like and maybe they will like them too.
    I had issues with my younger brother Jason because I am not in his top list. When I asked him about it he made up the lamest excuse. My best friend *Mofo* is in his top list because he has had the hots for her since he was like 11 years old. In all fairness, my other sister isn't in his top list either. I bumped him out of mine for now if he's going to be that way. I don't know why it bugged me so much.
    On another note: I got into it with my boyfriend's brother and soon to be wife. Jim(the brother) came and verbally attacked me and my honey with no facts to back it up. About me not liking the color of the bridesmaid dresses(pink). He said I
    e-mailed her when I never did. I wrote a joke in a bulletin on myspace. It said "Name something pink near you." I said "There wouldn't wouldn't be, I'm just not into pink, sorry Autumn." I was asked to stand up in their wedding. I sat them down and told them that it was supposed to be an honor to even be asked, but that their lack of respect for me and Gary made me not want to stand up for them. Autumn wrote some crabby bulletin about how she only has 3 bridesmaids now and if someone was lucky they could be her new fourth. She also wrote that you could read about the line up in her myspace blog. Yeah, I tried and was blocked. She probably used it to talk smack about me. Real mature of her. Hey, I know I made the right decision.
    By the way, I asked your hubby for friendship and he never got back to me, so I canceled the request. Just a little joke for you. Myspace is worse than the clicks in high school for sure, but I still love it. I have met so many quality people, yourself included and I wouldn't trade that for anything. You are awesome Mayrav!!!
    I love you babe,
    Nikki Zalewski

  2. Ok...so this is weird. I struggled and struggled to get my name in the local paper here (Jacksonville, FL) with an article following it, but no luck. Yet YOU, a stranger, a funny woman with a real-life sense of humor, managed to get my name (albeit a "myspace" name) into the Orange County paper. IN the article. How ironic is THAT!?!
    Thank you for the birthday wishes! And I do believe that if you and I ever met, we would be friends. You would have to tell me how to pronounce your name though.
    That Nikki girl from Wisconsin is a keeper. I've know her most of my life. And her brother IS adorable.
    Thank you, Mayrav, for making my day!

  3. Helo, i am the ity it refured two in this artikle. As you can sea, i am extreemlee intilectshully exawsted frum tri-ing two figer owt whut you are saying.
    The "war" continues...Mayrav vs Idiot....
    Your sister speaks extremely highly of you...I hope that someday I might be worthy of sitting down for dinner with Sigalit and yourself (all at once)...hopefully laughing and still talking about how much we hate each other. Though, come to think of it...you only hate me.

  4. Mayrav, you are my sister. If you need me to help fight this war with your biological sis, you tell me! I love you.

  5. WHAT IS GOING ON??? WHATS A "mofo"?/WHO IS THE idiot??